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> Comedy/Joke Lounge, PLEASE keep it clean.
 
StarLight
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JOKE OF THE DAY

An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. The young man loved peanuts.

One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldn't resist and went to the old man's jar and ate over half the peanuts. When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts.

The old man responded, "That's ok. Since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms." (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laughter.gif)
 
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StarLight
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Group: Downloaders
Posts: 161
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From: Texas
Member No.: 288
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THE DEAD PARROT

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Señor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Señor, that's the one."
"That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Señor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Señor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Señor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Señor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Señor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Señor Rod."
"WHAT FUNERAL???!!!"
"Your wife's, Señor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock.
SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep do-do." (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laughter.gif)
 
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